


Dust and Ashes

by sgtcalhouns



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 08:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17977814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtcalhouns/pseuds/sgtcalhouns
Summary: This fic is inspired by the song "Dust and Ashes" from the musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812





	Dust and Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the song "Dust and Ashes" from the musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

_They say we are asleep until we fall in love_  
We are children of dust and ashes  
But when we fall in love we wake up  
And we are a God and angels weep  
But if I die here tonight, I die in my sleep  
  
 **They say we are asleep until we fall in love  
And I’m so ready to wake up now**

* * *

 

Tamora sat up in bed, unsurprised to find that yet another hour had passed with no sleep. There was too much on her mind for her to relax, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Sighing, she reached for her keys, slipping on a pair of shoes and walking out to her car. As she pulled out of the parking lot, it occurred to her that she didn’t know where she was going. It didn’t matter, though. She just had to go  _somewhere_.

It wasn’t long before she started thinking of him. _Felix_. She had broken things off with him earlier that evening, and she couldn’t get his wounded expression out of her head. It was for the best, she reminded herself. This way, he could find someone better, someone more like him, and she would stay far enough away that she could no longer hurt him. However, it was impossible to ignore the pain the breakup had caused in her own chest. Every time she thought of him, there it was: a persistent, dull ache that refused to let her forget how happy she was with him. 

Something warm and wet dripped onto her hand, and she realized she was crying. She deserved this unhappiness. Her mind replayed the moment she had ended things between them, replayed his desperate attempts to reason with her.  _Please, let’s talk about this. We can work this out_. But she hadn’t listened. Instead, she had turned and left, trying and failing to ignore the tears that had begun streaming down his cheeks. 

It was almost funny that the only thing she wanted right now was to go back to his apartment, to be held by him. He had always been good at comforting her in times like this, making her feel safe, and above all, loved. There was the real problem– _love_. Even before he had expressed those feelings to her, he had been giving his love to her as freely as though it was infinite. Hers was guarded much more closely, escaping only in miniscule quantities when her attention was elsewhere. She knew it was unfair for her to take from him like that while offering so little in return, which was ultimately why she had made the decision to end their relationship.

At some point it had begun raining, and Tamora forced her attention back to the road. Between the tears that blurred her vision and the heavy drops that pelted her windshield, it was difficult to see clearly. Unknowingly, she veered slightly into the next lane, where cars were coming in the opposite direction. A pair of oncoming headlights snapped her back into reality, and she swerved out of the way at the last second, narrowly avoiding a collision. She released a shuddering breath as the weight of her situation came crashing down on her. She pulled onto the side of the road as she hit her breaking point, her shoulders shaking with sobs.

Resting her forehead against the steering wheel, she let herself cry. Soon thereafter came the wave of self-criticism.  _Why did you have to hurt him? Did you really think you could handle another relationship? Why can’t you just let yourself love him?_ Tamora raised her head as her breathing calmed. Suddenly, all the pieces came together in her mind. Everything made sense now, and she immediately recognized the root of the problem. It wasn’t that she didn’t have any love to give, it was that she had blocked herself off from it. She had been so afraid of getting hurt again that she refused to even let herself take notice of the fact that, deep down, she loved Felix. Putting her car back in drive, she turned the car around and began driving back home.

She had to fix this.

* * *

Felix woke to the sound of a frantic knock at his door. Still groggy, he answered it, at a loss for words at the sight before him. Tamora stood in the hallway, eyes puffy and red, and completely drenched from the rain outside.

“Tamora?” he asked, unable to hide his worry. “What happened to you?”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, beginning to cry again. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked softly, returning her embrace. “What’s wrong?”

She pulled away from him, taking a moment to examine him. He looked as though he hadn’t gotten much more sleep than she had, the bags underneath his eyes dark and puffy. His nose was red and his face was pale–he had been crying. Tamora brought a hand to his face, gently running her thumb over his cheek.

“I’m sorry I did this to you,” she whispered. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” he replied. “I’ll be alright. As long as you’re happy, that’s all I want.”

“No, Felix, I…” she paused to collect her thoughts. “This isn’t what I want.”

“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously. After everything he had been through tonight, he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I never should have left you,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“Why did you?” Felix asked quietly. As much as he longed to be with her, he needed to know what had led her to that decision before he could put himself in that vulnerable position again.

“I saw how easy it was for you to love me, how much of it you were willing to give me,” she began nervously. “I just kept taking and taking, and I didn’t think I had anything to give.”

He nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“You know what I’ve been through in the past,” she said. “And I was so scared of getting hurt again that I was putting up a wall between myself and my feelings.”

“What are you saying?” Felix asked.

Tamora breathed deeply before continuing. She was terrified to open up to him, but she knew it had to be done. It was time to open herself up to love. No more holding back; he had to know how she felt.

“I broke up with you because I thought it was unfair of me to accept your love without giving you any in return. I didn’t think I was ready. But tonight I realized, I…” she trailed off, looking into his hopeful eyes. “Felix, I love you.”

“What?” Felix asked breathlessly.

Tamora pulled him close and kissed him deeply, pouring all the love she had tried to hide for so long into the embrace. Her cheeks were damp with tears once more, but this time, they were born out of elation. She had finally allowed herself to truly experience the happiness she felt with Felix, and it was a beautiful feeling. Several moments later, she pulled away, both of them fighting to catch their breath.

“I love you,” she repeated.

With a shaky hand, Felix reached up to caress her cheek, his eyes brighter than she had ever seen them.

“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” he said, a happy laugh escaping his lips as a few joyful tears fell down his own cheeks. “Tammy, I love you so much.”

He kissed her again, holding her close as she returned the gesture tenfold. It felt as though he would explode at any moment as his happiness bubbled out of him. He finally understood her feelings, something that had troubled him since the start of their relationship. Everything was coming together, and he refused to deprive himself of this moment of bliss. Finally, he pulled away, suddenly remembering Tamora’s damp state after being out in the rain.

“Come on, let’s get you into some dry clothes,” he said, and she followed him inside.

As they settled into bed, one of Felix’s shirts upon her torso, Tamora felt herself dozing off at last. She was completely content as she stroked Felix’s hair, his face buried in her neck. He stirred slightly, holding her close about the waist. Humming with contentment, he whispered one final sendoff before letting sleep overtake him.

“I love you.”

Tamora smiled and kissed the top of his head. Sighing happily, she readied herself to reply, relieved that she was finally able to express these feelings to him.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
